I remember watching a clip of Noel Clarke on the internet once, talking about what was his greatest attribute when it came to working & getting to the top in films. Now, Noel Clarke is without doubt a great talent, and I’ve always liked the fact he makes his films about where he grew up & then uses unknown actors in and around Ladbroke Grove to give them a step-up, or a step-up out. I like the way he doesn’t want to be put into a box, and be called just an actor, just a directed, or writer. He just wants to do what he does, be creative. He wants to inspire & broaden the mind of the narrow minded generation.
Towards the end of school, a stupid amount of people began to completely change their persona, they started dressing differently, making their music opinions well known facts, joining bands, and going to ‘gigs’. Obviously its different for each person, but in my school, these were generally the ‘geeks’. The boys & girls who had no real place in school society, who longed to be part of a set-up. I found it sad that these people must of felt so unhappy the way they were, and the way other people saw them, they felt they needed to change themselves.
There is people, who have written all there lives. Written for themselves, maybe too embarrassed to show others, maybe it was just something that came naturally to them when alone, that didn’t come so naturally to them when in certain environments. I can’t quite remember when it was, but someday in year 12, I went into school & I realised everyone had turned into a writer. Sitting in the common room, listening to guitars being strummed, while awful voices were echoed around the room. Writing about their terrible childhood in the 70 bedroom house in the ghetto that is Ickenham. I wasn’t particularly fond of the way ‘the soldiers’ ran Douay, but how I missed them. Those guitars would have been smashed over heads before they got to the chorus. I’m sure there are many a reason for why people started to evolve into these outrageous alter-ego’s, but I don’t know what they are.
Today I have a slightly different perspective on things that took place, back in the day. Although I still think these people were awful at what they were trying to do, they still had an audience. They still have an audience. Surely this couldn’t be my jealousy? That people who have started writing in the last 6 months, had a bigger audience, then I had managed to gain in over 10 years? I’ve never been a fan, of trying to be something that people don’t see me to be. If I am not the funny one, then, I wouldn’t try to be funny. If I am not the really good singer, then I am not going to sing & expect some applause. These people were not performers, they were not writers, & they certainly never had an audience before. Part of me looked on at them, and thought, ‘yeah I can do better’. But deep down I knew, that these people stepped up, & it was before me. They fought against what people saw them as, they found something that could bring them together & let them be who they wanted, or let them have something they’ve wanted? There was no-way then, that I could show them I was better, that my voice was stronger, my words far more clever. I have never wanted to break the boundaries of what I am to others. I told jokes, played football and drank beer. What I do & what I can do are not the same. What I am to you & who I am to me are not same. To me, these people were never writers, singers, musicians, but when they looked in the mirror, that’s what they saw. But now, just like they did all those years ago, I am working towards, something that people don’t perceive me to be. I’m enrolling on an acting course, so I can study Drama at university. So I can work as an actor on my films & any other work that comes my way. I have never acted, I am not an actor. BUT the fear that I might be embarrassingly atrocious has held me back too long. I want to do it. Just because I want to. No, articulate answer here, no ramblings of words that I don’t understand, I just want to do it.
I’ve realised this piece has spiralled out of all control, like my days on earth that I like to call life. I’m thinking I should get back to referencing my thoughts via Noel Clarke. He was never a writer, he started his writing career in his late twenties. The entertainment business thought of him as an actor, but he stepped up and done something that wasn’t him. When there was no director for Adulthood, they asked him to direct the film, he hadn’t stepped behind the camera before, but he went with it. He wasn’t afraid to do something that wasn’t him. He wasn’t afraid to fail. Of course there are loads of directors, who have done it all their life, who have studied it & have trained meticulously in the art. Many of those haven’t directed a number one box office film. What I am trying to say is, I have no right to be a better writer just because I have been writing for longer than others. So hopefully people who have acted all their lives will not necessarily be better than someone who has never acted before. I’m pretty much expecting the same looks I gave to those when they starting going on about their lyrics, the ‘what you playing at’ stare. Oh Well.
So, Noel Clarke’s Interview, what was his greatest attribute when it came to being a successful writer ?? ….. To be continued
