I’m sick of this lazy place and when I turn to my side
there’s no-one to face. I need to leave but I don’t want to act hastily, I
don’t want to have people I love hating me but I feel this life I live is
wasting me, I’m getting swallowed up before it’s even tasting me. See life
should be easy, like ABC, but you can’t see that I can’t breathe, and things
that happen to me I can’t believe. This girl I met her name rhymes with peace
and her and the room she’s in represent everything that I need, maybe not forever
but just until I stop the bleed.
I don’t want to call this grieving, let’s just call it
‘sadness leaving’ or the death of misery even. Robbing the bank of happiness is
not stealing, it’s medicine and I need to start heeling. Back in the zone, back
in a life that’s my own, every me you see is me, I am not a clone. I know the
real me, I don’t need to try hard for you to believe. I shouted for help to the
outside, but the outside is not ready for the outcry. People like to live a lie
in delusion, like a heroin addict using, if I spat the truth in their faces
they would be lost in more confusion. The world is not a place for my heavy
musings and I gain nothing from proving you wrong or teaching you new things. This
is just the way that I’m moving, I’m sick of losing so I’ve decided I’m
improving…
A broken rose still lies and cries in my eye line and every
night I go to sleep I find another petal, so my thoughts turn to a heart I lost
and scores I still have to settle, but I just want to let all my hate disappear,
and you will say it’s been too long I need to dry my tears, but when you said
you’d fight forever it’s tough to down your spears. I never scream but when I
do I hope that someone hears, yeah she said that actions speak louder than words
but I shouted my heart and she forgot what she heard, didn’t care how much this
hurts. Fucked with my life only cares about hers, and the more she mocks me the
more I find that my loving memory blurs.
Now I am chasing skirts and I like the way that peace flirts,
but I’m much kinder, true to myself keeping it nice, not pretending that they’ll
be more than one night. Not defending the game but just playing my shot, reach
for my heart and they’ll be getting blocked, blocked from the madness blocked with
my fist, but even if they get through they can’t touch what don’t exist. Pissed
up melodies, sob stories I could start selling these, I’d get rich with ease
but today I choose to rise from my knees, no more thoughtless thoughts, no
selling myself short, don’t snort the cocaine of paranoid pain into your brain
James over thinking to find who’s to blame for all this rain that soaks you who’s
to blame for everything that broke you, try see it as the pinch that finally
woke you.

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